You guys were right.  The old title works and I now understand why you love it.  I have got my own domain and have moved.  I love being in WordPress, but there are just so many things there that I can’t seem to do.  It’ll be the same old me, but just traveling in new new shoes!

I hope you guys come visit.  And feel free to share your heart! http://www.christianityinhighheels.com

There are times that I just want to go and talk to about it that they’d be surprised how candid I can be.  It’s not like it’s taboo.  I just have a different perspective on things.  In other words, I can be normal.  I can go into a party in my little black dress and talk about anything without getting flustered.

It’s just that the desire to be “normal” is a sketchy issue in itself.  I am “normal” in this sense but I am also unique.  What difference is there between myself and someone who is a liberal?  Like the rest of the world, I have no problem going to a party and dance the night away.  But unlike the rest of the world, I would have to do this skipping the alcohol and with zero possibility of going to some guy’s place when the night ends.  A liberal would do that like the rest of the world now, but unlike the rest of the world, he probably has some unique views on marriage.

The irony about being “normal” is that you are also normally expected to be unique because everyone has to ‘liberated from the mindset of the status quo’ at one way or another.  People may chide you for choosing to wait on sex before marriage but these are the same people who idolize rebels.  (This is why vampires and ‘The Matrix’ have gone beyond cult status and into overwhelming popularity.)

What seems to be crazy on our part as Christians is that in some way, we want to be tagged as normal.  Yes, we know that we are essentially a counterculture and we stick to biblical principles, but some of us young ones want to get out of that bible-thumping prude or conservative timid angel stereotype the world seems to attach to us.

I must admit that I somehow had that in mind when I put up this blog.  When I found Christian sites for single women like me on the Net, a lot of them wore sad faces and had the “It’s God’s will I’m single so I won’t expect anything else” phrase right in the middle of their faces.  The rest of the Christian women blogosphere are married women who are into home school and knitting, while majority of the sites are attached to Internet dating.

Let me be blunt in saying, I think there’s something wrong with that.  We need gems such as Boundless
to provide encouraging and honest topics on sex, dating, singleness and marriage.  What we should find that’s normal are single Christian women who are whole, free, and fulfilled because they have Jesus in them.

I think it’s time to show the world the coolness of this life.  We’re not out there to prove that we are right in making this choice.  We’re just out there to prove that we revel in this new kind of freedom.  We can show that we can rock this season’s animal prints without being a sleaze or a tease.  We can enter parties and dance without the curfew, the unnecessary one-night-stand pick-up lines and those two body shots of tequila.  And we just live our life this way because we want to.  It has proven to be great for us simply because we found something that we know is great and would sustain a life of peace and prosperity way after gravity has set in on our faces and bra sizes.

There’s just more to life than a legal set of what not to do.  Jesus is grace and freedom personified.  If anything, wasn’t it written that Jesus himself knew how to mingle with the rest of the world and be at ease with anyone he meets, even in a party?

That goes to show that boredom is not part of the Christian life.  Live it as you should.

“God is saying that you’ve been lifting down your head too long.  I am the lifter of your head.”

“Instead of being heavy with discouragement, you’ll be heavy with joy, favor, victory.  He [God] is the glory and lifter of our head.”

“Life may have withered you in some area, along the way you were discouraged and you had given up on the dream….you’ve got plenty of excuses…no these are strongholds keeping you from God’s best.”

– Joel Osteen, #476: Overcoming Discouragement
How uncanny is it to have found this message exactly today and have Joel Osteen name Naomi (my name) as an example.  In this message, Joel Osteen says that discouragement keeps us stuck but God does not want us to stay stuck.  He wants us to move forward towards that dream, that life, that future that He has prepared for us in advance.  

As I write this now, there are no concrete answers in this world yet.  I write because I realized when I was in this situation before, and I wrote about it then proclaiming the goodness and faithfulness of God.  But this time, it’s different.  This morning, I have come into prayer asking God why this had been the situation.  I had better credentials, didn’t I?  I had great motives.  I have done it solely on faith.  Why are the doors still not opening?

Prayer time was short.  The answers were still the same.

“I am the same God that got you through then.”
” I am the same God that helped you overcome then.”
“I have not changed.” 

Faith is really a decision.  I wake up everyday relying upon God’s simple word.  Especially in my career, something that takes time the most in my single life, I have so many experiences to recall where I was completely down and God raised me up.

I am reminded again that the job I thought was the answer was not the answer.  Even that “dream job” I thought I had gained before turned out to be the worst in my career but was, in my career history, the most incredible time that God showed His best and helped me overcome each obstacle in a very astounding way.  If God turned everything around then, why will He change now?

I am reminded again that the credentials I thought would save me was not the answer.  Back when I was in this position, I had less credentials but a lot of doors were opened with me solely relying on the merit of God.  If God’s favor was what tipped the scale for me then, why will it run out now?

I resigned from this job with a leap of faith.  God gave me a simple reminder that He has not changed.  He will not change.  He is still there.  Waiting on Him is another leap of faith that I am currently going through.  All I have is a word.

I’m writing now because I have not received my breakthrough yet.  I am writing to you now with discouragement on my shoulder.  But I am writing to you now because I am going to get up and take another leap.  I will work with what I have.  I will search for it.

I am writing now because I am expecting my breakthrough very soon.  Soon, as in within this year.  I’m expecting one tomorrow.  I’m expecting one next month.  I’m not expecting based on my credentials or my effort.  I’m expecting solely on unmerited favor.  I’m expecting based on God’s grace.
Yesterday, I was driving and looked to the sky and saw a very strange sight.  It seemed as though there’s a speck in that sky where a small rainbow had formed.  So I took a picture of it.

It was the most beautiful “stain” on a clear blue sky.  All the colors were there.  Maybe I was the only one stuck in traffic who looked up and found it.

It would seem completely childish to go nuts on a rainbow but I guess I’m going through my own flood and storm that seeing one, even a small one was such a relief to me.

In Sunday School, we often get to talk about Noah and his ark.  At the end of the flood, after all the waiting for the rains to come and facing all the ridicule, and after all the waiting for the rains to end, God has given Noah a rainbow as a reminder of His promise.

It may sound like a myth to some but I swear, this was a moment that I was a child and thought a rainbow in the sky was the most awesome thing.

It’s awesome because it’s a promise and it’s still there.  It never goes away even if no one saw it.

If we are unfaithful,
he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is.
– 2 Tim. 2:13 (NLT)

Have you heard of ‘The List?’

Supposedly, there was an exercise that existed years ago that you wrote down what your non-negotiables are in a man on this list.  These non-negotiables are the opposite of deal breakers in that the man you have to marry has got to have them.  Otherwise, it’s off!  (Whatever relationship it is you never started.)

I must admit that I got into this even before I learned the reason as to why.  It just sounded fun.  And back then, I believed in a “soul mate” who was “God ordained.”  Meaning, God would basically land this specific person in my lap because he already built one that’s exactly matched with me.  But that was until just a couple of years later, I noticed that I kept crossing out certain things in my list.  (The above is a sample list by the way.  It’s not mine.  But it kind of looks like that.)

The whole reason behind having a Non-Negotiables list is based on us praying a specific prayer.  In this case, it’s a specific man.  If we are specific in asking, we shall be receiving, just as the promise in Matthew 6:33.  After all, didn’t people ask Jesus for specific things?  Plus, they said it’s an exercise in faith as Psalm 37:4 promises, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

This is where it gets awry.
Psalm 37:4 doesn’t say that God will simply give the desires of your heart.  As in every desire?  It begins with “delight yourself in the Lord and…”  That and means it’s a condition.  You like God first and then the desires come next.  If you like God enough, your own desires will be lesser than His.  I think that includes, without exception, the list of non-negotiables.

I think this is why all lists end up being rewritten many times that they do not end up the same way as it started.

I was speaking with a group of friends who have created a very comprehensive list of non-negotiables.  As good Christian women, they always put “must be a Christian man” as requirement #1.  (Duh?)  But the list extended beyond the required lines in their yellow pad to around 15.  One had 30 requirements.  The other 85.  You can just imagine how low my jaw dropped.

It dropped because I looked at the list and I even wondered for the one who only had 15 non-negotiables where to find this guy that she was looking for.  Like maybe he’s just from another dimension or that she wanted to get married to an angel.  (She did not put “wings” as a requirement so angels can be an option.)  The one who had 85 had put “must have perfect teeth,” so I can’t help but ask what would happen if some guy just had his wisdom tooth pulled that it must’ve mean that he doesn’t have “perfect teeth” and then he would only have 84 out of 85 in the list.  This girl smiled at me and didn’t say anything as she most likely didn’t want my jaw to drop once again.

Yes, I’ve had some crazy girl friends as I’ve been crazy myself.  But I just didn’t believe that this kind of conversation would happen as though I was stuck in a sitcom.  But it did.  It’s not that I don’t believe that God can do the impossible but really…doesn’t “man look at outward appearance but God looks at the heart?”  (1 Sam. 16:7)  So there’s obviously some conflict here.

The main requirement is really the one stated in 2 Cor. 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.”  But even that is not grounds for kicking you out of Christianity.  The verses go on to say how women can win their husbands to Christ in case the husband is still an unbeliever.  This verse is simply stated because there’s a lot of things going on with marriage.  The arguments in marriage about this is real and you just can’t shrug it off especially since faith (in whoever or whatever) is a big deal to any person because it will affect your decisions and your lifestyle.  It really just sounds romantic at first to marry despite your backgrounds but reality bites when you decide where the kids will go to on Sunday, to whom will the kids pray to or if the kids will even pray at all.  Or if you’re not having kids, you will have to explain “complicated” things such as why you want to give a tenth of your income to your spouse.

But other than this instruction, which even though other Christians don’t practice and for which they are not (and should not) be railed against for, there isn’t any other non-negotiable related to wealth, position, required ministry or number of teeth.

I’ve come to realize that double standard as well.  Suppose a guy liked me but I only have 13 out of 15 in his non-negotiables list and so dismissed me because of that anyway, I would certainly roll my eyes at his delusional concept of perfection.  Especially because I am already perfect — perfect in Christ (Col. 1:28) — and that should’ve been enough perfection for him, especially if I made 13 out of 15!

At any rate, I’m happy to say that I’ll be wearing my 7th bridesmaid’s dress to the girl with the 85 non-negotiables.  Yes, still a bridesmaid despite my short list but happy that my friend burned her original list of 85 anyway!  I’ve seen her guy.  He is probably the opposite of most things she wrote in that 85, except I didn’t check his teeth.  (They seemed to be ok in dental alignment.)  Lesson learned:  God will exceed that list.   You will have to let Him.

If you have a lot on yours, burn it.  Get back to the Word and trust that you will not settle for anyone less than what God desires for you.

As for me, I still have three on my list.  The first one is what every good Christian girl writes about since it’s good wisdom to heed a simple instruction.  The other two are also based from the Word.  The reason I haven’t burned it yet is because I think it’s ok to stick with it and yet not be rigidly stuck on it.  I know God will exceed it.

There are no four seasons where I live and there is a lot of sun and beach weather.  This is why it isn’t really a must to get some closed shoes.  That was until this interview which is very important to me.

“Dress sharp.  Wear closed shoes!”
That was the suggestion my friend gave me so I went to shop because I had none.  All I had were sandals, gladiators, strappy things.  Wearing closed shoes felt too hot and too uncomfortable if I had them all day.  So when I shopped, it just felt weird.

Now that the need is more important than my preference, I had some criteria in mind for it.  (Plus, my friend said I can get away with peep toe.  At least there’s air!)

• Statement — Extraordinary.  Not the usual shoes and pumps.
• Should get along with anything.  (Black, then.)
• Feels good.

I found some nice lace gladiators that I had to walk away from because I’m not (yet) in (this) job.  So these shoes were really a steal.  For steals, I grabbed a classic. Classic steals may be non-committal but at least they work with everything.

By the way, with the complete wisdom involved in this shopping, I’m really hoping to get it.  I shopped with the job in mind.  Whatever happens, I know I’ve got God’s favor with it.  Hope you can include me in your line to God next prayer for this particular job!  xoxo in advance!

Here’s how this morning went: I was feeling down last night because of the lack of good opportunities showing up in terms of the job hunting.  So last night I hid my phone since there would be no one who would call anyway.  If I did get a text, it’d just be a reminder to pay that phone bill or spam.

But instead, I woke up that morning with this thought.  “Whatever.  If I go this way and even in the rare occasion that someone substantial did call, I’d be missing an opportunity.   If I go this way, I will be deciding and living my life based on hurt — on feelings.  Instead of on faith.”

So I went to my phone and guess what, the first text was from the phone company reminding me of a bill that’s on its way.  But the phone is next to me now and I’m waiting for good news that’s on its way too.

Because last night, I asked God why it seems I’m in this predicament again.  Where is grace?  And last night, I know I heard what Bill Hybel’s calls a whisper of God, and it said, “I am the same as I was the last time.”  If God was faithful and gracious then in spite of me, then why won’t he be that now?

I asked advice from a friend on how to drum up a potential ministry using simple and safe methods, as I was too stingy with resources, and he said: “Stingy efforts produce stingy results.“

I thought that I’m a very adventurous person but I guess it’s not so when it comes to money and my time.  I’ve saved enough but I’m waiting for things to come to me until this wake up call: “I’ve found that luck is quite predictable.  If you want more luck, take more chances.  Be active.  Show up more often.”  — Brian Tracy

I think the above doesn’t mean ‘luck’ as a special ding or whammy you get out of the sky.  It talks about an active destiny–the one that you search for and look after.  My pastor who was teaching about this woman who Jesus healed (just by touching his cloak), said that this woman did have a faith.  It saved her.  But one thing that struck me was when she said, “Faith is active.  Faith got up and received that healing.”  — Sis. Shoddy Chase

I guess I’ve been stuck in my own fear that I stayed in my own place sitting still on it.  It is true that we are our own worst enemy.  Just like, Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” 

So in times that you do feel inferior (because it’s not like you’re ok everyday.) Nothing beats the voice of our Lord and Savior.  He said simply.  He said it direct.  He said it with complete honesty and sincerity.  And He knows what He’s talking about.

“Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.” – Jesus (Mark 5:36)

I guess I’m in the same wilderness now.  If I had made a mistake, I have been nothing but reliant on grace to just pull me through.  Like a father who cannot resist the request of his daughter, Jesus Himself said that “how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”  (Matt. 7:11b)

So now that I listened to that, I find myself in the same sea of doubt.  There are certain things I just can’t control.  Fear creeps in.  I found myself powerless.  I don’t understand how I have mismanaged this.

You see, when I resigned from my job two years ago, I had some options to choose from but I thought that I went with a good choice, thinking it was the breakthrough.  I was quick to discern that the breakthrough was God Himself pulling through for me.  That was until I think I forgot all that and thought that the job itself was the breakthrough until everything in my happy-ever-after story crumbled just two weeks into it.  I swear that it was the worst workplace of all that I have been through — backstabbing, insubordination, insults…. I wondered why God put me there.  I guess I thought that I insisted on it because I liked it so much that grace continued to follow me.  You know, I never would have survived…no, overcome that challenges in that workplace if God had not pulled through for me.

The worst scenario had been the best place that God was able to show His best for me.

I thought that getting into this job would add another chip on my shoulder, a better credential on my resume.  But I seemed to have difficulty even now that I had it.

But why is that?  Why do I feel sad?  And impatient?  Is God less present now than He is then?

That is when it occurred to me to listen to my own preaching.  All this fear that I’m feeling, all this worry that disconnects me, all the anxiety that paralyzes me… these are my own thoughts that I have leaned on by myself.  I have leaned on my credentials.  I have leaned on my fears that I thought it’s time for me to control.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
– Isaiah 55:9 (NIV) 

This verse is not only concerned with God saying, Hey, my plan is bigger than your plan.  In my situation, I heard God saying these same things, “My thoughts of a future and a hope are higher than your thoughts of fear. You may worry but my thoughts of goodness are higher than your worries.”

I bet you, God’s ways of prospering me are higher than my own.

I am shamed into reading my own post, see my own victory proved in my eyes, and then doubt again.  The truth is that it is a vicious cycle but I must have the strength to go back to it and believe it again.  It is true that all we need is a glimmer of hope and it all gets us to start moving.

But God is basically saying that we give our hope in Him and He moves it for us.
It’s not really easy.  In fact, don’t you find it part of human nature to doubt simpler things?  Like, “All I have to do is believe?  That’s it?”

Here I am again.  I thought that the job would be the key to bigger things.  It’s not.  I may have made a lot of mistakes getting here but I have put that in the past.  It is all done now.  I’m moving forward.  And God, I am waiting patiently.  You said you have me in your hands but I am really eager to have you here with me and in your embrace.  I won’t be settling for whatever comes.  If you have given me something great before, then your unchanging grace will grant it to me again.