Christianity in High Heels


How \’this\’ Single Christian girl thrives in the world

Guides to Marrying Well — and being resigned to fate?

I’ve read so many blogs and articles for singles on being single and getting married.  The words that I have read were not so…umm…enchanting.  Some of them say, “The Bible does not guarantee that you will be married.  It just guarantees a life of joy!”  And still others insist on the verse that Paul wrote, “It is good for them to say unmarried, as I am” (1 Cor. 7:8) and cite Paul’s life as an example.

A Girl’s Guide to Marrying Well
from Boundless Webzine

Those words didn’t sound interesting to me because one, those words didn’t really give me hope in addressing my desire to get married.  They sound completely resigned to their fate until they showed photos of them late in life where they seem to insist that it is too late.  But then is it really too late?  Because secondly, faith is not faith if it does not continue to believe.  If it remains resigned to that fact that yes, we’re all meant to be single anyway then we just continue to work through life with that kind of belief.

I found a nice blog in Boundless where they give out a free “A Girl’s Guide to Marrying Well” and a “Guy’s Guide to Marrying Well.”  I have not read about the guy’s guide so this review will focus on the girl’s guide first.

 The guide focuses on four topics: Intentionality, Purity, Community and Christian Compatibility.  From the topics alone, you can see that it covers everything from your intention and desire to get married to dating and how to choose “The One.”

By “The One,” I mean the one that you will marry.  The guide was quick to say that there is no biblical basis to God creating only one person for you.  (Only Adam can say that.)  Some Christians actually continue to believe that and the problem with that according to this Boundless guide is that, “many people mistake the storm of emotion as the identifying mark of their soul mate.  When the music fades and the relationship requires work, one or both partners suddenly discover that they are “mistaken.””

What I like about this guide is that it sounds real and to the point.  Some points like that about having a “soul mate” hit you hard.  But it’s honesty that’s not just bearable because it’s honest.  It’s honest because it’s the truth and it is said in love.  The guide seems to be intent on letting Christian girls let go of all the myths they have about marriage and in the end, it actually ends up with encouraging you to acknowledge that desire to get married as well.  And praying earnestly and boldly to God about it.

There may be stuff about this guide that I don’t quite agree on.  You may have some reservations on it as well.  You may think that if God really wanted you to get married, then that guy will have found you now and you shouldn’t have to wait all this time for it, because otherwise, God only promises joy.

The reality is that marriage is work.  Even Paul in 1 Cor. 7 continue to say that marriage is work!  One thing I like about this guide is that it was frank enough to say that ‘marriage is work’ yet something we aspire to be in.  Why do we really aspire to be in it if marriage is work?  I’m sure there are a lot of reasons.  It may be that you’ve got so much love to give, or you desire companionship, a family or children.  But whatever stage in your life, whether you’re single or married, God will give His joy.

But right now, I think this guide says something important about your desire to be married.  It addresses the fact that God acknowledges your desire.  And as a woman, you can live a life of faith by first doing things that show how much Jesus has made a difference in you, acknowledge your desire, and pray boldly to God about that desire.

These lines of action resonate more with the faith that is talked about in the Bible.  Resigning to your fate does not.  I really don’t think it’s your fate to be resigned to being single, but it’s your faith that will give you a great life from being single to being married.

Try to get the guides from Boundless.  The best part is that they’re free!  Read it with an open heart.


Filed under: Marriage, Relationships